The Sadness That Lingers

I am lying in bed, contemplating my options or my excuses it is cold and raining in Nairobi. I could call in sick which would seem the most plausible to justify. I don’t look sick, not in the physical sense of the word.My sickness can’t be seen as cuts or wounds. It can’t be measured by a thermometer or felt by a hand to the forehead. My sickness lingers in my head or my heart or maybe even my soul. I don’t really know where but it lingers like a heavy overcast in the sky.

My alarm goes off again and I let it.I am too tired to shut it off. I  am unfathomed by its perpetual shrieks. It rings as background noise in comparison to my running thoughts. Thoughts of school, of work, of people and of life run rampant in my head, weighing me down into defeat.I just want to lay in bed, in the predictable warmth of sheets and blankets.

I will get up though, eventually because today is some irrelevant midweek day, not the weekend. I once knew the days of the week, when they were significant enough to be distinct from each other. Now, they just mesh into a single blur of existing and surviving. Life isn’t hard though, not in the ways the news tells you it could be about NYS ,Health scandals and many corruption scandals hashtags. I don’t have it that bad, I tell myself as I slowly get out of bed.My morning pep talks are more guilt driven than motivation.

I should be okay; I might even have everything whatever everything is. An objective outsider could analyze my life and conclude there is nothing wrong, but my feelings are in direct conflict and I loathe that.I agree with the objective outsider. I am well aware of how lucky I am.I am  have things that most of the world doesn’t. I should be happy, but  ain’t I.

My sickness is my sadness. There is no substantive reason for my sadness though, unlike others. I have never experienced anything traumatic, lost anyone significant or faced some other life-altering event. I am  just as average as they come with enough fortune to deem an acceptable good life.

I try to fight it.I count my blessings as the cliché dictates. I even start a gratitude journal and write listicles of my good life. But gratitude isn’t the antidote to sadness. People like me are immune to any of its remedying effects. I read the lists of blessings and only see more reasons to feel guilty, immersing back into the trap.
I might see a doctor and he’ll ask for my symptoms but I don’t really have any that match his list. I linger in bed sure, but I eventually get up.My thoughts are weighting but nothing equating to harm.I might be a bit reserved but I still have friends and family I see regularly. I ain’t the poster child of sadness and the doctor sees this. He’ll dismiss me in ignorance; tell me it’s nothing abnormal from the norm. If I insist, he might appease me with some prescriptions. I might try them initially but eventually throw them out too.

Maybe their side effects were too strong or my illness really wasn’t that severe medically. Regardless, I give up and my attempts to fix myself cease.

My sadness remains unexplained and that’s what makes me feel worse. It’s the morning dread that extends into an all day affair. It’s how my feet drag, how my head lays low and how my eyes avoid contact or stare into abyss. It’s listening to people talk but not understanding a word because my thoughts are louder. It’s the façade of being a yes person, accepting social invitations which I  always regret when I would rather be in bed. It’s the tiresome effort to keep up with life’s charade that eats at me slowly. It’s seeing irrelevancy in everything and everyone and never knowing emotions of the contrary.

Dear God — You Are Good Always

You are good, always. Even when the days aren’t as sunny as I thought they would be. Even when my expectations are totally different from reality. Even when I wake up and my back is hurting, you are good. Even when my life isn’t as luxurious as I want it to be, even when Your provisions are just enough for the day. Even when I hold my chest and I swear I can feel my heart breaking, you are good.

You are good, always.Even when the promises made for me can’t seem to find me as of the moment. Even when I am losing hope and can’t seem to find the right track for me. Even when I spend my whole life searching for ways to overcome with You, you are good. Even when obstacles flashflood and the sun never rises and the land suffers from a constant drought. God, I believe You are good.

You are good, always.Even when I’m not. Even when I’m stubborn and disobedient, even when I sin against you, even when I always fail to follow Your word and fall short. You are perfect in loving me, in caring for me, in being there for me, in helping me out. You are perfect in all of your ways, even when I’m not, even when I’m never.

You are good, always. Even when I don’t understand anything, even when I’m sitting in the lowest point of my life, even when my daily task is to fight, even when my eyes never run dry.

You are good, always. Simply because you love me. You love for who I am. And your love, it’s the kind that doesn’t care how dark and ugly and horrible my past is, it’s the kind of love that’s interested in getting to know me deeper, why I am that way that I am. It’s the kind of love that knows all the bones in my body, memorizes all the composition inside my own universe. The kind that knows all too well how my heart pumps blood throughout my blood vessels, the kind that knows why it pumps, who it beats for. It’s the kind of love that never gets tired. It’s always new and fresh, every morning, every evening.

You are good, always. Even in my brokenness, you love me with an unbroken love. The kind of love that protects and sends me to the rock bottom only for me to discover that You are the rock at the bottom. The kind of love that allow circumstances in my life, circumstances that sometimes I don’t understand the background, but is sure that all of it are in the purpose of making me a better person. The kind of love that lets me fail a job interview and lose a battle just so I can delight in a better, brighter and louder future. The kind of love that inspires and motivates me when I am dwelling in a sea of hopelessness. The kind that knows how imperfect I am but loves me despite.

You are good, always.

You show me the way, You guide me.

You know what I need, You permit me to lose people and hurt over relationships because You know exactly who I need. You release all kind of fear and assure me that I can ride the waves with faith. You ruin all other bad things in my life and hold my heart in freedom. You push me to strive harder and above all You acknowledge that I am trying. You are good, always. And at times, I cannot even expound Your goodness using the best words, nothing is ever enough to cover how much Your goodness and love shield me.

You are good, always. Simply because You were there and You will always be there. Simply because You, who began a good work in me will always be faithful enough to bring it into a magnificent completion in Your appointed time. You are good, always. Simply because despite of all the bad things in life, You are still here. And all these dreadful things doesn’t cancel Your existence. Not in any way

To love is to suffer

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

I’m going to write you out of me, but the wound, the wound I’ll keep. I’ve been searching for closure, for a reason, for the answers to all the questions my aching heart still sings, and I’ve come to discover something in my pursuit: we should not pine for closure.

Do you see these scars? They tell stories, they carry memories, and they are my whole life. Without the heartbreaks, the mistakes, and the misgivings… I would not be who I am.

Instead of walking slowly to my fate, I am able to swim in the ocean created by all of the tears I have shed. Instead of searching for words out of empty lungs, mine are filled with endless amounts of love I wasn’t able to give. Instead of carrying pain into the unknown future, I am armed with thicker skin from these marks. Instead of fearing love, my heart is dripping of hope for the dreams it has not yet reached.

I have been searching for a way to stitch these open wounds from my last love, but there’s a certain beauty to them now. They are raw and they are real. They are proof of how hopelessly a hopeless romantic can feel. They are the evidence to emotions that pulse through our veins. They are the love stories that are not yet over.

I’ve realized that I don’t need you to heal me. There’s a certain beauty in being broken. It means that I am not invincible. It means that I am not afraid to fall. It means that I am willing to give up my heart for yours. It means that someone else’s broken pieces may eventually compliment mine imperfectly.

I’ve realized that I don’t need someone to save me. There’s something gorgeous about someone whose eyes admit they can be weak. It means that not only see the world, but also really feel it. It means we don’t fear it because it’s already broken us. We are resilient simply because we’ve learned to function in our brokenness. We’ve found happiness in the empty crevices of our puzzled hearts.

I don’t need you to tell me why you left me, if you’ll ever find me again, where it went wrong, when you thought it was right, or any other 2am thought at night. I need those memories, the epic fights, the moment I fell for you, the moment I first hated you – I need them all as a reminder of the women I have become.

But I am not perfect. I am scarred and I am bruised. I am damaged in the best way. I have lived life enough to get hurt. I have hurt enough to grow. I have grown enough to find beauty in the remnants of a storm that tormented my heart. Now there is no symmetry to my heart, but is there truly ever any symmetry in art?

I will write you out of me – I promise you, but this wound I will keep. I will continue to carry my heart on my sleeve. It’s a badge of honor that I will carry with a plastic smile. It shows that I am not afraid to love. It shows that I am not afraid to fail. It shows that I stronger in pieces than I am whole – because I know what it’s like to put myself back together.

So keep your answers to yourself when you wake up with regret. My search for closure has ceased. Instead I’m looking for adventure to fill in the empty spaces. Instead I’m searching for the pieces of me I have not yet found. I go on this journey wounded – but do not get this confused with pained. I am proud of my sensitive heart. It is my biggest weakness and my biggest strength.

I am as fragile as paper, but alas, all the best love stories are written on them.

New Year!!!

I’ve asked myself many times throughout last year, “What have I accomplished?” without actually being able to think of an answer. 2016 has flashed by and I found myself being unable to manage with what was thrown in my way last year. After days and days on reflecting on what went wrong for me, I finally got an answer. That was why I was utterly helpless in the whirlpool that was 2016 that swallowed me up and spat me out. It has dawned on me that in order to make 2017 a better year, changes have to be made. I told myself that in 2017, I will no longer be a lad. I will be a man, and not just any type of man, but rather, a true gentleman.

“Chivalry is dead.” That is how most articles providing guidelines to what a gentleman should be usually begin with. However, being a gentleman transcends just merely being chivalrous or gallant. As the title of this article suggests, we are no longer living in medieval times.

I drew out certain qualities to acquire in order to successfully make this transition in my life, a type of resolution of sort. So, this is how I intend to live my life in 2017 and these are the 8 ways of the 2017 gentleman.

1. Be genuine in both words and actions.
In order to be a true gentleman, you have to make sure that you ditch the masks and facades. You have to want to be a gentleman for yourself, without having any ulterior motive. Have this any other way and this outlook will just be another mere layer to your costume. And so, rule number one of being a gentleman is to be a gentleman solely for yourself and not to alter the way you behave to change the perception others have on you. To be a gentleman is to be genuine and to be sincere. Say the things you truly want to say and do things you truly want to do. Forget about any judgmental eyes watching you. At the end of the day, you only have yourself to answer to, not anyone else.

2. Be a generous listener and a well-spoken individual.
Many people confuse listening with merely hearing. The ability to listen needs to be developed. It requires a deeper level of comprehension than mere hearing. The art of effectively receiving information and connecting with others as well as to communicate your message across to achieve its underlying purpose tactfully will take some practice. Think before speaking and choose your words carefully. Even words with similar meanings are open to different interpretation. Always keep that in mind. Words are cheap and yet, more often than not, they are sharper than blades. Think before you speak and you will save yourself from being in one misunderstanding after another.

3. Take pride in yourself.
A gentleman should really take pride in the way he looks. Get a haircut or change your wardrobe. Don’t be afraid to experiment with something new. Of course, tread lightly and avoid fashion’s cardinal sins. Go ahead and pamper yourself with a facial from time to time. Hit the gym and make the effort to get your ideal body. As clichéd as it sounds, the rationale behind this is simple. When you look good, you feel good. This brings us to point number 4.

4. Be confident.
Confidence is a quality that all gentlemen should possess. The belief in his own ability to succeed in whatever task he is faced with. In the bleakest of situations, it is the belief in yourself that gives you the strength to say “Screw it”, grit your teeth and soldier on. More often than not, against the odds, the result may just show you that you are indeed stronger than you think. Ask yourself what you would do today if you knew for a fact that you would not fail. Then, go out and do it.

5. Be driven.
Nothing is more attractive than someone who is focused in pursuing his dreams. It does not matter if it is that promotion at work or losing 3 kilograms by the end of the month, a driven man will never go out of style and results will eventually, show. However, this comes with a warning. While focusing on your goals are important, never neglect those around you because of it. You may just end up losing the very source of motivation for your drive. We all know how those stories end…

6. Be independent.
A gentleman should be able to stand on his own two feet. Be able to support your lifestyle in a financially responsible fashion. Yes, everyone needs some form of emotional support from time to time but a gentleman should not overly rely on this. Instead, he should be strong for the people around him. A gentleman must be able to stand tall should the world around him crumble and fall. This independence translates to stability and security. Life throws us curved balls from time to time. Being independent makes us more able to adapt to these situations when they arise.

7. Don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve.
Be someone who isn’t afraid to express yourself. If you are unhappy about something, let it be known. Don’t bottle it up. Think you’re falling for that beautiful lady in your life? Go ask her out. Bare your heart to her. And if she sends your heart back your way, don’t beat yourself up over it and neither should you ever allow yourself to wallow in self-pity. Sure, it sucks but there is a silver lining to every cloud and the best thing for you is still out there. You have no regrets for doing all you could and furthermore, it is her loss to have let a true gentleman go. If she sends her heart back to you instead, then taking that risk of opening your soul to her was well worth it. Always treasure her for baring her soul to you as you did to her. It is just as difficult for you as it is for her to do so.

8. Have fun!
Lastly, and probably the most important of the lot, is to have fun doing what you do. Life is not always such a drag. Make time to just relax and have fun. Put your worries aside and reward yourself for all the hard work you have put in. Do things you enjoy. Be adventurous. Try something new. Pick up a martial art or hit the club with your mates. Life is short. Enjoy it. Smile and be happy. Do not let your worries weigh you down. Live a little!

“How does it feel to be finished with school?”

Immediately following college graduation, this is the question that I  always count on to be tossed around during conversation. It is rhetorical, mostly — no one really expect any sort of genuine, reflective answer. And this is a relief, because I have no reflective answer to give. I know that being an “adult” (used very loosely when describing the early 20’s) normally involves rent, work, and an early bedtime. When that question is directed toward me, all that really comes  to mind are logistics. Losing school meant gaining a calendar.

A little more than  6 months has passed since I sat for my last paper. Surprisingly, during the time since, the most striking transition has not been  waking up before the sun. Instead, it has been losing the reliability of upcoming change.

Leading up to this moment, school had segmented life into scheduled chapters. I’m sure you remember. Each year would bring in a new set of people, experiences, and lessons. Like clockwork, I could count on the expected turnover to provide new challenges. If I was feeling stagnant, I could simply number the days remaining until the next adventure would begin.

I never understood how much I relied on the predictability of transition until it was gone.

I can no longer depend on school’s scheduled rhythm of newness. One option now is to cross my fingers and wait for change to happen to me — unexpected life shifts are bound to strike at one point or another. But I have found that there is a certain dissatisfaction with waiting on fate to bring you something new. Slowly but surely, I have begun to understand that if I want to ensure continual growth, I need to start actively writing chapters for myself.

When I first realized this, I panicked at the ambiguity of it all. When is the right time to shake things up? How do you decide to try out a new job, city, graduate program, or stage of a relationship when nothing is forcing you to do so? How do you discern complacency from contentment?

I must confess, I have yet to answer these questions. However, I have eased my panic by finding a useful framework in considering them — a framework that you might find useful as well.

1) I first (try to) graciously take stock of what I already have

The practice of gratitude for my current situation helps to focus thoughts of change on striving forward towards the horizon, rather than running away from what’s behind.

This Forbes article entitled “7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude” describes one asset that I find particularly useful when considering change:

#7. Gratitude increases mental strength.

Consistently giving thanks has been proven to increase resilience — a crucial tool to have in your arsenal throughout this process.

 I define what I want to learn

This helps narrow down which type of change I am seeking. I try to dig for an answer that presses further than just “to learn more about myself”. What specific part of my life or my identity do I want to push?

 

I accept my limited perspective

There is no way to know what exactly a change will lead to, or what a lack of change would have resulted in. But as Steve Jobs reminds us in his Steve Jobs’ Famous Speech at Stanford University,

“You cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.”

I just recently made a huge move to Nairobi city. After after all that  years in Nakuru, I left the sources of comfort that I had relied on my entire life — friends… family… consistent weather… My first thought , “What have I done?” Yet, slowly but surely, I have started to realize that this move might just be one of the best things to ever happen to me. More than anything, it has shown me that I am stronger than I once thought I was.

That being said, I still do not know how this new chapter will fit into the grand book of my life. But recognizing this limitation is liberating as much as it is uneasy. With its embrace, I can become one step closer to relinquishing my desire for control long enough to continue to take the risk.

Grounded by gratitude and armed with a strategy to chart my own life toward my own goals, I am ready to appreciate –even amidst my uncertainty– just how many chapters of my life remain unwritten.

Time to keep writing.

.

TIMING

For the most part, life is about timing. I mean, think of how we came to be, and how our universe came to be: the billions of events that needed to happen, and needed to happen in the exact order that they did, for humans to even exist, and for us to exist in this very moment- that, to me, is damn good timing. Because how lucky am I to have been born into my loving home, to have come across so many wise, affectionate, and curious people, and to have grown up right in the midst of so many revolutionary moments?

But of course, the idea of timing can also hinder the human mind.

Since such a large portion of our lives is controlled by the unforgiving nature of time, it really becomes too easy to feel like we’re merely being pushed along as the hours and days and years press on. In moments like those, and maybe even right now – when we feel like a clock that’s just a second off, eventually falling far behind – all we want is a little more time to get a grip on our lives and catch up to the rest of the world.

And then on the other hand, too often we beat ourselves up because we were too late, or too early, or were told, “Now’s not a good time.” And so we grew up in fear of wasting the perfect moment, of being blind to it until it had already passed. For as long as we can remember, we’ve had this conditioned drive to never squander a moment, to never stop, because time sure as hell won’t.

So we’re stuck in this in-between of wanting to take a break yet not wanting to miss a beat at all. The result: frustration, fear, and the heavy realization that time is scarce. However, maybe we should all be thinking a bit differently- that there isn’t so linearly a certain time for everything, but rather the time for everything is now.

As time goes on, entropy increases. It’s how the universe works. Relate this to our individual lives, and you’re left with this: life gets messy. But rather than go against the natural disorder that comes with time, we might as well accept it, and embrace it. There’s beauty in madness, and I suspect we can all agree that some of the most memorable moments in our lives were also the most chaotic. Honestly, I think that, instead of pointlessly striving for control of every single moment of our lives, time is so much more well spent just losing ourselves in the now.

In the end, time is infinite, but ours isn’t. However, I do believe that we all have enough time, if only we spend it together the best we can.

Difference between education and graduation!

The dictionary meaning of education is the process of receiving or giving systematic instruction, especially at a school or university Or in other words, completing particular course of studies, thereafter, joining respective jobs and earning money.  Are you satisfied with this meaning of education? Do you think school or university are the only places where people get educated? Normally it is believed that, education with schooling and once he/she completes his schooling, he/she will be considered as educated. Is it so? Do you think only passing of an examination makes a person educated?

So what about those who have never stepped into an educational institution? Are they all uneducated?  Nope. It’s not. Dictionary meaning is a narrow view. But in broader sense, education is a big concept. In every moment of life we learn something or other, education is not limited to classroom. For example, when a toddler sees rain drops he/she asks you “from its coming?” or “oh! shower is on outside the bathroom” haha! that means he is learning about rain An aged grandparents may ask questions regarding internet,  at the that old age they are asking you question, that also means they learn about new things! An individual learns irrespective of his age! That is education!

Education is its wider includes all the influences which act upon an individual during his passage from the cradle to the grave.

-Prof. Dumvile

What is studied in the classroom makes us a literate, further, after completing a course of study, we will be considered as a graduate. Clearly, the receiving or conferring of an academic degree or diploma makes us a graduate person. Let’s go  little deeper about Education then, just by completing or passing an examination doesn’t makes a person an educated!  Personality and attitude  of an individual should represent him/her as an educated person. It should be shown in words, actions and your views!

The following are the essentials one should develop to be  an educated person than to be a graduated person!

1. PEACEFUL METHODS:

  • Patience is great sign of “being an educated person”
  • Be patient with yourself and the process.
  • Solving problems by talking with patience instead of being violent and spitting hateful words to others.

2. RESPECTING OTHERS:

  • Respect can be both given and/or received. … but you will be respected only you respect others!
  • Listening to others is the one of best form of showing respect!
  • Respect as a form of behavior and participation, we should raise our children in such a way that, they serve/conduct themselves in the society in the right manner.

3.  CO-OPERATIVE LIVING:

  • Adjusting with all kinds of people.
  • An individual should safe guard interest of other and should have brotherhood feeling towards others.
  • An educated person should be co-operative to others irrespective of human race.

4. FREEDOM:

  • Being open to listen to other by giving them chance to express their ideas and thoughts etc.
  • By giving freedom to others you will be respected by them.
  • See things from different sides, from different angles, in different ways and trying understand the other person, appreciating them.

5. EQUALITY:

  • Brotherhood feeling towards all human beings.
  • Being able to not to discriminate as superior and inferior, the rich and the poor, caste and creed, color and race, clam and tribes, groups and classes.

6. TOLERATION:

  • Self control.
  • Agreeing to individual differences.
  • Maintaining healthy relationship with others.
  • Being open-minded.

7. GOOD CITIZENS:

  • Obeying the laws of his country
  • Contributing to society.
  • Participates in public affairs with wisdom.

Modification of behavior is true means of education. Contact with the society and people adds experiences to ones life. Education is not only limited to the schooling, it’s sum of total life experiences. Education is essential to make a man fit for the society! Man becomes “human being” when he undergoes process of education. It is a process of humanizing. 

Its my birthday today.

If I am honest, if I am willing to stand in my own truths and claim the sharp corners of my flaws, I must admit I expected this milestone to deliver a certain knowing. There was an unspoken expectation.
It is a beautiful day, a harmonious balance of humid and moderate temperatures. It is a quiet day with simple pleasures and good company. Still, if I tell the story of my gratitude I am conveniently excluding the complicated pieces of my truth that undermine the complexity of an internal uncertainty.

The day when we remembers our birth. A day special to every one. I am not saying my birthday a Happy Birthday, and there’s reason for it. So, whats a day in my Life, today is only different from normal day. Remembering the Almighty, the supreme power above all, a new day starts.The day itself dawned painfully unexceptional for the unfortunate happenstance of Youth Nature’s folly. Still my friends honored our morning traditions in a way that tethered me to the simplest of joys and was a happy foreshadowing of countless thoughtful gestures of appreciation. In the morning, we exchange the wishes within the family, then the immediate family comes with their wishes, no fancy or high gifts, no show-off to anyone, plain wishes, the traditional ways.

Still those closest to me loved me stubbornly and generously, thoughtfully and gently. It is perhaps the most extravagant gift of all, to be so unconditionally loved for out best in spite of our worst.I couldn’t control my tears. This  was full of Love. I felt little and shallow. This is a such day, will never ever forget, when I close my eyes, first thing comes to me is that I am so PRIVILEGED and in the mean time so poor too. I call that I have a Life, I have facilities that are world-class, I have a status quo, I have proficiency over things, my hands and mind is working fine, but whats the use of such Life, if it’s of no use if it does not uplift the others. It’s like you have a pen and paper, but your words…. Many a times it happens that something happens to us and we try to avoid it, but never try to think from another way around. We follow routine and we miss beauty. I have a plan for this. A dream Plan. A Life that celebrates itself.

I’m still thinking on what I might wish for as I count my blessings, grateful for the love of those who let me stumble.

Select a path,
follow by Heart,
Dream and Conquer,
A life is less for one,
Spark the Lamps of Smile,
A dream that world rejoices;
Shaped by Love,
A messenger of Hope.I

WHEN YOU TRULY LIKE SOMEONE

When you truly like someone, they might not know you do. At least not vocally. Not so soon yet. Because you’re not going to throw your words around like it doesn’t mean a thing. It does mean a lot to you and that’s why you want it to mean everything when you can say it to that someone face to face, knowing you’re capable of taking responsibility for your own words and you’re in a place to deliver the promises those words entail. In the meantime, you will make sure your feelings for them, without asking for anything in return, will only add positivity to their life like the positivity they’ve added to yours.

When you truly want someone, it’s not something you can just easily switch on and off. Of course you can lie to yourself however you want but every time you meet their eyes, this rush of joy spreading all over your body, making you feel alive and your plain world turn into full color, doesn’t. It’s clear that you have failed miserably. And you don’t even want to try and deny it any more. Because without that person and without this unanticipated power they have over your heart for no particular reason, you would never ever realize what truly liking someone is not. As you recall all the times you thought you were feeling, it turns out that you were really just lonely, horny, seeking troubles, involving yourself with all the people you had no genuine interest in.

When you truly want someone, at times you can and will be selfish. You will want them all for yourself and you will be envious of anyone that has ever had a piece of them. You might even seem aloof and act carelessly, not showing a single sign that your body is electrified by their slightest touch but it doesn’t mean it’s not true. You do that because it can get too much and if you must be honest, you’re scared. You’re scared of your own feelings, of what if it knows no limit and of losing them one day and ruining the little something right now between you two. But because you truly like that person, you will not let fear hold you back. You will not stop being there for them when they need you the most because sincerity is what your heart is about.

And so, when you truly like someone, you’re serious about it. Not the kind of half-arsed waiting for universe signs to decide what you’re going to do. Or telling them for whatever reason you’re unable to be with them right now. No. You will be committed to your feelings. You will do your best. You will try all what’s in your power to make them happy even if it means not having your feelings reciprocated. Although it’s true that such desire to have your feelings reciprocated is inevitable, your liking them doesn’t begin or end there. When you truly like someone, you like them for the person they are. You like them for the rawness and realness when they’re with you. You’re grateful for their ever being born into this world and crossing your path, for being a spark in your dark days and teaching you so much about life and love.

Truly liking someone might mean different things to different people but you’re sure they will agree with you that it’s a damn good teacher. It teaches you to be patient, tolerant, and go beyond yourself. It teaches you that if you want to like someone and care for them, you need to like yourself and care for yourself first. More importantly, you need to trust that they are capable of liking and caring for themselves too and let they do so in their own time. You also need to believe that they deserve happiness and the personal choices they make. That’s how you will gain the strength to keep on going, to find your own happiness, to have a place for them in your heart without bitterness or pain no matter what answer they will have for you.

You know you truly like someone when that person, and only that person, is the first word and also this last one…

If You Don’t Think You Deserve More, You’ll Always Accept Less.

It’s a general rule in life that if you don’t think you deserve more, you’ll always accept less and you’ll always settle.

Because people have a tendency to sell you short, they have a tendency to give you just enough to get by and they have a natural tendency to depreciate you.

It all starts with what you’re okay with, with what you let people get away with, with the way you let others treat you and how you respond to those who do you wrong.

If you don’t think you have the right to ask for a raise, you’ll always be overworked and underpaid.

If you don’t think you have the right to ask for what you want in a relationship, you’ll never get the respect and appreciation that you wish for.

If you don’t think you have the right to know where you stand with someone you’re dating, you’ll always be left in the grey area wondering and waiting.

The irony is that recently it seems that asking for more, asking for your right or just asking for answers is frowned upon especially if you’re right, especially if you’re strong, especially if you’re aware of your own value.

But here’s what I learned about settling and staying quiet when you should speak up, it doesn’t win you any more friends, it doesn’t make you a likable person and it doesn’t make you a cooler person, it only makes people take you for granted — it only makes people think it’s okay to hurt you because you don’t get mad and you don’t confront anyone.

It’s never a bad idea to ask for more, to know your worth, to stand up for yourself even if you secretly don’t think you deserve any of it, because your mind can trick you into thinking that this is what you truly deserve and that asking for more is greedy or wrong or selfish.

But it’s not.

It’s not selfish to ask for more when you’re working hard, it’s not selfish to ask for commitment when you’re loyal and it’s not selfish to try to know what you mean to someone when you’re in love with them.

What’s selfish is playing it safe so you don’t have to worry about the consequences, or settling because you’re afraid of losing someone when they’re not afraid of losing you and it’s selfish to have a strong voice and not use it.

Because the only thing that’s stopping you from getting what you want or what you deserve is you.