Girls risk judgement if they indulge in casual sex. But boys don’t run that risk: they’re expected to run around. Boys just risk the outcome of their own.
The world is a strange place. It is perfectly alright, even encouraged, for a young lady to save herself for marriage. Sex before a committed relationship for her could lead to all sorts of judgement and name calling.
But a quick shift over to the guys… and you draw a blank. It has never been stated or expected that men should stay chaste as they await a committed relationship with a woman. A few of you have just read that statement and laughed in your heads, right? Thing is, why shouldn’t guys wait?
Who to turn to?
First we need to understand that when it comes to sex, there’s little to no guidance for young men. Everyone assumes that because you’re a guy, you know what to do. Wrong! Now couple this with the fact that because sex is such a sensitive topic, guys don’t know who to turn to. Your parents? They’re too scared to talk about it. Your relatives? They probably run and tell your parents that you’re having sex.
And your friends? Ha! They’ll just laugh that you’re not having sex in the first place, loser.
So without much to go on, and so much external pressure, guys start having sex. They risk exposing themselves to all manner of diseases because they don’t know how to be safe. Now factor in that if women have sex outside of a relationship, they are frowned upon from here to land’s end.
So you get into a relationship with a girl you don’t really like because of sex. One month turns into one year, one year into five. You swear that you’ll end it with her, and then boom! She’s pregnant. You marry her because you feel obliged to. You’ve let yourself slip so far into a messy situation, all because of sex, that you can’t get out.
Habits die hard
Again, consider this. You’ve been sexually active from when you were 21 (don’t laugh! Just roll with me here). When you turn 30, you’ll probably think “Hey! You know what? I want to find a nice girl and settle down.” Good for you! So you do just that, and you’re out of the game right?
Not exactly… Nine years of your life have consisted of chasing women, getting them to sleep with you, ignoring their calls and messages once you’ve slept with them, and breaking it off when they confront you about why you don’t like them back. You formed a habit. By the time you want to settle down, your mind will be so attuned to this process that even though you want to stay faithful to your wife/fiancée, force of habit will have you chasing and sleeping with other women.
Pumping the breaks
We live in a time where sex has become one of the easiest things to have. While women have struggled with it forever, I’ll wager that men are struggling even more. This is because inasmuch as we are clueless, pride keeps us from seeking help. It’s time, gents, to pump your brakes and drive slow.
This article was originally published on our sister site Love Matters.