“How does it feel to be finished with school?”

Immediately following college graduation, this is the question that I  always count on to be tossed around during conversation. It is rhetorical, mostly — no one really expect any sort of genuine, reflective answer. And this is a relief, because I have no reflective answer to give. I know that being an “adult” (used very loosely when describing the early 20’s) normally involves rent, work, and an early bedtime. When that question is directed toward me, all that really comes  to mind are logistics. Losing school meant gaining a calendar.

A little more than  6 months has passed since I sat for my last paper. Surprisingly, during the time since, the most striking transition has not been  waking up before the sun. Instead, it has been losing the reliability of upcoming change.

Leading up to this moment, school had segmented life into scheduled chapters. I’m sure you remember. Each year would bring in a new set of people, experiences, and lessons. Like clockwork, I could count on the expected turnover to provide new challenges. If I was feeling stagnant, I could simply number the days remaining until the next adventure would begin.

I never understood how much I relied on the predictability of transition until it was gone.

I can no longer depend on school’s scheduled rhythm of newness. One option now is to cross my fingers and wait for change to happen to me — unexpected life shifts are bound to strike at one point or another. But I have found that there is a certain dissatisfaction with waiting on fate to bring you something new. Slowly but surely, I have begun to understand that if I want to ensure continual growth, I need to start actively writing chapters for myself.

When I first realized this, I panicked at the ambiguity of it all. When is the right time to shake things up? How do you decide to try out a new job, city, graduate program, or stage of a relationship when nothing is forcing you to do so? How do you discern complacency from contentment?

I must confess, I have yet to answer these questions. However, I have eased my panic by finding a useful framework in considering them — a framework that you might find useful as well.

1) I first (try to) graciously take stock of what I already have

The practice of gratitude for my current situation helps to focus thoughts of change on striving forward towards the horizon, rather than running away from what’s behind.

This Forbes article entitled “7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude” describes one asset that I find particularly useful when considering change:

#7. Gratitude increases mental strength.

Consistently giving thanks has been proven to increase resilience — a crucial tool to have in your arsenal throughout this process.

 I define what I want to learn

This helps narrow down which type of change I am seeking. I try to dig for an answer that presses further than just “to learn more about myself”. What specific part of my life or my identity do I want to push?

 

I accept my limited perspective

There is no way to know what exactly a change will lead to, or what a lack of change would have resulted in. But as Steve Jobs reminds us in his Steve Jobs’ Famous Speech at Stanford University,

“You cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.”

I just recently made a huge move to Nairobi city. After after all that  years in Nakuru, I left the sources of comfort that I had relied on my entire life — friends… family… consistent weather… My first thought , “What have I done?” Yet, slowly but surely, I have started to realize that this move might just be one of the best things to ever happen to me. More than anything, it has shown me that I am stronger than I once thought I was.

That being said, I still do not know how this new chapter will fit into the grand book of my life. But recognizing this limitation is liberating as much as it is uneasy. With its embrace, I can become one step closer to relinquishing my desire for control long enough to continue to take the risk.

Grounded by gratitude and armed with a strategy to chart my own life toward my own goals, I am ready to appreciate –even amidst my uncertainty– just how many chapters of my life remain unwritten.

Time to keep writing.

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TIMING

For the most part, life is about timing. I mean, think of how we came to be, and how our universe came to be: the billions of events that needed to happen, and needed to happen in the exact order that they did, for humans to even exist, and for us to exist in this very moment- that, to me, is damn good timing. Because how lucky am I to have been born into my loving home, to have come across so many wise, affectionate, and curious people, and to have grown up right in the midst of so many revolutionary moments?

But of course, the idea of timing can also hinder the human mind.

Since such a large portion of our lives is controlled by the unforgiving nature of time, it really becomes too easy to feel like we’re merely being pushed along as the hours and days and years press on. In moments like those, and maybe even right now – when we feel like a clock that’s just a second off, eventually falling far behind – all we want is a little more time to get a grip on our lives and catch up to the rest of the world.

And then on the other hand, too often we beat ourselves up because we were too late, or too early, or were told, “Now’s not a good time.” And so we grew up in fear of wasting the perfect moment, of being blind to it until it had already passed. For as long as we can remember, we’ve had this conditioned drive to never squander a moment, to never stop, because time sure as hell won’t.

So we’re stuck in this in-between of wanting to take a break yet not wanting to miss a beat at all. The result: frustration, fear, and the heavy realization that time is scarce. However, maybe we should all be thinking a bit differently- that there isn’t so linearly a certain time for everything, but rather the time for everything is now.

As time goes on, entropy increases. It’s how the universe works. Relate this to our individual lives, and you’re left with this: life gets messy. But rather than go against the natural disorder that comes with time, we might as well accept it, and embrace it. There’s beauty in madness, and I suspect we can all agree that some of the most memorable moments in our lives were also the most chaotic. Honestly, I think that, instead of pointlessly striving for control of every single moment of our lives, time is so much more well spent just losing ourselves in the now.

In the end, time is infinite, but ours isn’t. However, I do believe that we all have enough time, if only we spend it together the best we can.

Difference between education and graduation!

The dictionary meaning of education is the process of receiving or giving systematic instruction, especially at a school or university Or in other words, completing particular course of studies, thereafter, joining respective jobs and earning money.  Are you satisfied with this meaning of education? Do you think school or university are the only places where people get educated? Normally it is believed that, education with schooling and once he/she completes his schooling, he/she will be considered as educated. Is it so? Do you think only passing of an examination makes a person educated?

So what about those who have never stepped into an educational institution? Are they all uneducated?  Nope. It’s not. Dictionary meaning is a narrow view. But in broader sense, education is a big concept. In every moment of life we learn something or other, education is not limited to classroom. For example, when a toddler sees rain drops he/she asks you “from its coming?” or “oh! shower is on outside the bathroom” haha! that means he is learning about rain An aged grandparents may ask questions regarding internet,  at the that old age they are asking you question, that also means they learn about new things! An individual learns irrespective of his age! That is education!

Education is its wider includes all the influences which act upon an individual during his passage from the cradle to the grave.

-Prof. Dumvile

What is studied in the classroom makes us a literate, further, after completing a course of study, we will be considered as a graduate. Clearly, the receiving or conferring of an academic degree or diploma makes us a graduate person. Let’s go  little deeper about Education then, just by completing or passing an examination doesn’t makes a person an educated!  Personality and attitude  of an individual should represent him/her as an educated person. It should be shown in words, actions and your views!

The following are the essentials one should develop to be  an educated person than to be a graduated person!

1. PEACEFUL METHODS:

  • Patience is great sign of “being an educated person”
  • Be patient with yourself and the process.
  • Solving problems by talking with patience instead of being violent and spitting hateful words to others.

2. RESPECTING OTHERS:

  • Respect can be both given and/or received. … but you will be respected only you respect others!
  • Listening to others is the one of best form of showing respect!
  • Respect as a form of behavior and participation, we should raise our children in such a way that, they serve/conduct themselves in the society in the right manner.

3.  CO-OPERATIVE LIVING:

  • Adjusting with all kinds of people.
  • An individual should safe guard interest of other and should have brotherhood feeling towards others.
  • An educated person should be co-operative to others irrespective of human race.

4. FREEDOM:

  • Being open to listen to other by giving them chance to express their ideas and thoughts etc.
  • By giving freedom to others you will be respected by them.
  • See things from different sides, from different angles, in different ways and trying understand the other person, appreciating them.

5. EQUALITY:

  • Brotherhood feeling towards all human beings.
  • Being able to not to discriminate as superior and inferior, the rich and the poor, caste and creed, color and race, clam and tribes, groups and classes.

6. TOLERATION:

  • Self control.
  • Agreeing to individual differences.
  • Maintaining healthy relationship with others.
  • Being open-minded.

7. GOOD CITIZENS:

  • Obeying the laws of his country
  • Contributing to society.
  • Participates in public affairs with wisdom.

Modification of behavior is true means of education. Contact with the society and people adds experiences to ones life. Education is not only limited to the schooling, it’s sum of total life experiences. Education is essential to make a man fit for the society! Man becomes “human being” when he undergoes process of education. It is a process of humanizing. 

Its my birthday today.

If I am honest, if I am willing to stand in my own truths and claim the sharp corners of my flaws, I must admit I expected this milestone to deliver a certain knowing. There was an unspoken expectation.
It is a beautiful day, a harmonious balance of humid and moderate temperatures. It is a quiet day with simple pleasures and good company. Still, if I tell the story of my gratitude I am conveniently excluding the complicated pieces of my truth that undermine the complexity of an internal uncertainty.

The day when we remembers our birth. A day special to every one. I am not saying my birthday a Happy Birthday, and there’s reason for it. So, whats a day in my Life, today is only different from normal day. Remembering the Almighty, the supreme power above all, a new day starts.The day itself dawned painfully unexceptional for the unfortunate happenstance of Youth Nature’s folly. Still my friends honored our morning traditions in a way that tethered me to the simplest of joys and was a happy foreshadowing of countless thoughtful gestures of appreciation. In the morning, we exchange the wishes within the family, then the immediate family comes with their wishes, no fancy or high gifts, no show-off to anyone, plain wishes, the traditional ways.

Still those closest to me loved me stubbornly and generously, thoughtfully and gently. It is perhaps the most extravagant gift of all, to be so unconditionally loved for out best in spite of our worst.I couldn’t control my tears. This  was full of Love. I felt little and shallow. This is a such day, will never ever forget, when I close my eyes, first thing comes to me is that I am so PRIVILEGED and in the mean time so poor too. I call that I have a Life, I have facilities that are world-class, I have a status quo, I have proficiency over things, my hands and mind is working fine, but whats the use of such Life, if it’s of no use if it does not uplift the others. It’s like you have a pen and paper, but your words…. Many a times it happens that something happens to us and we try to avoid it, but never try to think from another way around. We follow routine and we miss beauty. I have a plan for this. A dream Plan. A Life that celebrates itself.

I’m still thinking on what I might wish for as I count my blessings, grateful for the love of those who let me stumble.

Select a path,
follow by Heart,
Dream and Conquer,
A life is less for one,
Spark the Lamps of Smile,
A dream that world rejoices;
Shaped by Love,
A messenger of Hope.I

WHEN YOU TRULY LIKE SOMEONE

When you truly like someone, they might not know you do. At least not vocally. Not so soon yet. Because you’re not going to throw your words around like it doesn’t mean a thing. It does mean a lot to you and that’s why you want it to mean everything when you can say it to that someone face to face, knowing you’re capable of taking responsibility for your own words and you’re in a place to deliver the promises those words entail. In the meantime, you will make sure your feelings for them, without asking for anything in return, will only add positivity to their life like the positivity they’ve added to yours.

When you truly want someone, it’s not something you can just easily switch on and off. Of course you can lie to yourself however you want but every time you meet their eyes, this rush of joy spreading all over your body, making you feel alive and your plain world turn into full color, doesn’t. It’s clear that you have failed miserably. And you don’t even want to try and deny it any more. Because without that person and without this unanticipated power they have over your heart for no particular reason, you would never ever realize what truly liking someone is not. As you recall all the times you thought you were feeling, it turns out that you were really just lonely, horny, seeking troubles, involving yourself with all the people you had no genuine interest in.

When you truly want someone, at times you can and will be selfish. You will want them all for yourself and you will be envious of anyone that has ever had a piece of them. You might even seem aloof and act carelessly, not showing a single sign that your body is electrified by their slightest touch but it doesn’t mean it’s not true. You do that because it can get too much and if you must be honest, you’re scared. You’re scared of your own feelings, of what if it knows no limit and of losing them one day and ruining the little something right now between you two. But because you truly like that person, you will not let fear hold you back. You will not stop being there for them when they need you the most because sincerity is what your heart is about.

And so, when you truly like someone, you’re serious about it. Not the kind of half-arsed waiting for universe signs to decide what you’re going to do. Or telling them for whatever reason you’re unable to be with them right now. No. You will be committed to your feelings. You will do your best. You will try all what’s in your power to make them happy even if it means not having your feelings reciprocated. Although it’s true that such desire to have your feelings reciprocated is inevitable, your liking them doesn’t begin or end there. When you truly like someone, you like them for the person they are. You like them for the rawness and realness when they’re with you. You’re grateful for their ever being born into this world and crossing your path, for being a spark in your dark days and teaching you so much about life and love.

Truly liking someone might mean different things to different people but you’re sure they will agree with you that it’s a damn good teacher. It teaches you to be patient, tolerant, and go beyond yourself. It teaches you that if you want to like someone and care for them, you need to like yourself and care for yourself first. More importantly, you need to trust that they are capable of liking and caring for themselves too and let they do so in their own time. You also need to believe that they deserve happiness and the personal choices they make. That’s how you will gain the strength to keep on going, to find your own happiness, to have a place for them in your heart without bitterness or pain no matter what answer they will have for you.

You know you truly like someone when that person, and only that person, is the first word and also this last one…

Do Your Best With Little You’ve

Don’t spend your life wishing you had someone else’s. Don’t wish for a life like you see on TV. Don’t fantasize over homes you see in magazines. Don’t be convinced you’d be happier if you had more money. Don’t always spend your life wondering what could have been or what life could be like, just please do the best with what you have.

There will always be someone with more money, more power, bigger houses and better cars. There will always be someone who has more than you, but there will always be people who have less. You can’t live your life by constantly comparing your life to others; it won’t do you any good and will just leave you feeling disappointed in all you could have.

Instead of wondering, start living. Make the most of everything you have. Cherish your friendships, love your family, take pride in all you’ve accomplished.

What you plant now, will bloom later.

Pay attention to your life, stay humble and kind, and keep working hard for everything. Start working towards your best life. Start working towards what you love because once you start working hard for what you love, the rest will fall into place.

Living your best life is giving what you can right now – nothing more or nothing less. That’s all that matters.

I think the most important thing to remember is that you are only capable of what you can do. You can learn some things, but you can’t learn everything, so it is important to do what you can with what you have.

If you really want something you’ve never had you’ll have to put the extra time and work in to making it a reality. But all your problems really are is a chance for you to do better, they are a chance for you to succeed and believe in yourself that you can do it. If you have faith in yourself that you can move mountains, move them, and even if you fail while trying, you’ll surely still get a good work out in attempting.

Sometimes the top of the mountain isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes the hike up to the top is more worth it, the struggles and back tracking makes the journey more worthwhile and teaches you the best lessons.

You don’t have to jump through hops and win gold metals, I’m not asking you to become the person who finds a cure for cancer (but if you are that person, bless you and please share your knowledge) and I’m not asking you to be someone you’re not. All I’m asking is that you do the best with what you’ve got and you follow your passion in the right direction.

Just like Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Please, do the best you can with what you’ve got because I guarantee you’re capable of a hell of a lot more than you think, you just need to believe.

Refuse to be denied! That’s the way to the greater thing. 

Deep inside, where only two sets of eyes can see it, lies the dream yet to emerge. It’s a recent spark for some. For others, it’s the longest fuse known to man. It sits there fizzling like a firecracker waiting to explode. We wouldn’t have the inclination if it wasn’t possible. What do I have to do, to see this thing live, outside my body?

PAIN OR PLEASURE!

We learn from two paradigms. Pain or pleasure. One says, this is the way to do it. It screams, do more of it. The other says, this will never work. And bellows, stop doing what you’re doing. What moves us to act one way or another?

PERCEPTION AND ATTITUDE!

Desire is neither good or bad until I express it. My interpretation of life events encourages behavior. If I believe in a great conspiracy, to thwart my best efforts, I remain locked in immobility. Waiting for some external force to secure my release. Good luck with that.

If I see obstacles I can address them with strategy. If what I want, is beyond what’s in front of me, action is required. Move it. Go through it. Go around it. By all means necessary-get there. You’re smart enough, talented enough, and have what it takes to wrestle opposition into cooperation. You either want it or you don’t. Be honest.

Comparing myself to others is an efficient way to ignore my uniqueness. Find people who are where you want to be. Interrogate them to death. DO NOT DUPLICATE THEM! Common denominators present in every successful person is a great foundation. If I imitate, I will be a terrible them, and a lousy me. Principles have to be retro-fitted to your own skill set. Not compromised. Adapted. The dream is you. For you. And about you. If you let your dream die, you and the entire world will be denied the benefits of why you are alive on the planet.

THE WHY AND THE WHAT!

I always ask myself, why did this happen? I’ve come to realize, the answer is irrevocably the same, for every question. To wake me up. If I don’t pay attention I can end up paying the consequences of lousiness and laziness and carelessness. Maybe I need to wake up to the good things in my life. Things I’ve been ignoring. Wake up means, it’s time to get up, and go up! No one is created to be a bottom feeder living a discounted life.

Success and failure isn’t about luck. Both are the result of intention. I never deliberately intended to fail. However, I had to learn a hard lesson. Without an intention to succeed failure is what you get. I can trace every gain or lose to my thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and actions. An unbiased analysis shows how I, set myself up, every time.

I don’t believe in a strait line to the top. Some people do get there faster than others. But I don’t allow myself to be grudge successful people. Many of them have more failures than successes. I know success is the result of never giving up. They had to do the hard work of navigating their shortcomings and honing their strengths. They learned the power of leveraging. Sustainability happens when the desire to give is equal to or greater than the desire to get. What I do is not as important as why I do it.

Now matter what happens, the more important question is, what do I do next? Whether I’m trying to get on top or stay on top, after every win or loss I ask myself, what now? Whether you crashed and burned or landed on the moon you want to know why. You want to know what to do next. The question is relevant to arriving in my dream.

I was born because of intention. I have an intention for my life. We are all the same in that regard. Life is about discovering what that intention is. The greater thing is connected to mastery. Wishful thinking doesn’t give life. It’s a destructive distraction. A willingness to become proficient, at whatever beckons at your heart, is one of those known secrets everybody wants to avoid talking about. Show yourself how serious you are and the universe will help you out. You are meant to win. Don’t let your circumstances talk you out of it.

The method of Exchange

What do you need to learn? Do you have clarity? Do you need systems? Are you accountable to someone? Do you have a team? Find mentors, classes, online tutorials. Get plugged in to groups that share your aspirations. Live in the real world. Synthetic virtual friendships can fail to deliver adequate support. Volunteer in places that do what you are passionate about.

Invest in yourself and other will too. Don’t show up expecting to get for free what you intend to charge for. Pay for your dream and it will pay you back. Not having money is no excuse. Barter. Trade. Do whatever it takes. People want to help. Ask. Seek. Knock. You can do what you are meant for.

Refuse to be denied! That’s the way to the greater thing.