Am Changing My Story

​I’m trying to change my story. I’m trying to change my narrative. I’m trying to change the voices in my head.
I’m trying to tell the world another story about myself. I’m trying to make it a story of hope, faith and success rather than a story of struggle, despair and failure.
I’m trying not to paint myself as a victim anymore. I’m done blaming my parents, my school, my friends or my culture for all my setbacks. I’m working with what I’ve got. I’m finally figuring out the right path for me. I’m finally driving in the right direction. I’m finally learning that it doesn’t have to be a sad story with no destination. I’m finally learning that I can still change the ending. I can still make it a happy one.
I’m trying not to associate my age with everything.Why I’m not rich or why I haven’t traveled to all the places I wanted to visit. I’m changing my hopeless questions to one simple answer: faith. I’m changing my story from being hopeless to being faithful. I no longer think everything in my life was ‘delayed,’ everything was right on time, everything came exactly when it should have arrived — not sooner or later because now I have the wisdom to appreciate them, the strength to endure the obstacles on the way, the stamina to fight harder for what I believe in and the gratitude to be thankful for the whole journey.
I’m changing my story from loneliness and darkness to self-love and light. I’m changing the tone of negative self-talk, of feeling inadequate, of being afraid of missing out, of being too attached to the minor things in life, of being too concerned about what people think to simply letting go of perfection, of deadlines, of expiration dates and expectations.
I’m human. I’m still finding myself. I’m still trying to understand life. I’m still trying to define what happiness is. I’m still trying to understand what kind of love I’m looking for and I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself just because I don’t have all the answers.
I’m done trying to make my story all about answers, I just want to enjoy reading it, I just want to enjoy living it. I just want to try to make it a good one. Even if it means having more questions than answers, even if it means not getting everything I want.
I’m not going to change the essence of the story, I’m changing everything around it. I’m changing the way I tell it. I’m changing the way I write it. I’m changing my voice, my tone and my speech.
I’m taking my pain and heartbreak and turning them into something beautiful. I’m editing my story, sometimes we forget that it’s still a draft, not the final manuscript and we can always go back and change it. It’s not over yet

Be Still My Soul

Nothing stays the same—this is what I’ve discovered in growing up. And of course I knew this, but I continually fight it. I want to understand. I want to make sense of what is happening around me. I want to know where I’m headed and see beyond the present. I want to go and go and go and rush and take everything in, taste it, spin it around in my mind until I get dizzy.

 

But something I’m learning is how to slow down.
Something I’m learning is how to be still.

I’m learning to quiet the rushing thoughts in my head. I’m learning to close my eyes and breathe deeply, smell the earth, the sky, the hint of flowery perfume, the bagel shop down the street, the cotton of clean clothes, the sticky-sweet fruit from the outdoor market.

I’m learning to let life happen—to me and around me—and smile, even through the storm. I’m learning that you cannot have answers held in the palm of your hand or written somewhere on a sheet of scrap paper, ready to be pulled from your pocket and read when life seems to stray from its path.

I’m learning that sometimes what you know will drastically change, and you will only exhaust yourself trying to keep up, trying to run when you’re only meant to walk, trying to make people love you when they’re meant to be set free.

I’m learning to be still.

I’m learning to close my eyes and slow down time, make a moment stay, instead of letting it so quickly fade into a memory. I’m learning to relish in the present, to hold onto it for as long as I can and quit looking ahead to the next adventure, next thing, next item on my list.

I’m learning that I cannot rush—my decisions, God’s plans, or the feelings written on someone else’s heart. I do not have control of this; I must trust, let go, and let life play out.

I am a character in the movie, not a director, not the one who can rewrite the script or know what’s coming, no matter how hard I try to. And I am learning to trust in this.

I’m learning to stand on solid ground and quit fighting the natural course of events, quit being so damn stubborn when what I think should happen doesn’t, or when what does doesn’t match up with my pre-written plan in the slightest.

I’m learning that stillness doesn’t mean a perfect life, but it does give me peace. And I’m learning that when I stop running wild, stop letting myself be pulled in three different directions, stop thinking I have to know everything—I am in-tune with the people around me, stronger in my faith, and more focused on the people and things that really matter.

I’m learning that when I am still I am not static, but strong. I am prepared. I am whole and have regained my sense of self. I’m learning that when I am still, I am not looking at what’s to come, but celebrating what is, and ready for whatever God has planned for me next.

I am learning that life is even more beautiful when I stop trying to have the answers, when I stop trying to write my own path, when I stop trying to continually be something, be somewhere, and instead just be.

I’m learning to be still. 

 

 

In the Words of Charlie Chaplin:

img_20170302_124739_285.jpgI’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another.

Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone, and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone.
The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind.
We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The airplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me, I say, do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress.
The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish. Soldiers! Don’t give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder.

 

Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men – machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don’t hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural.

 

Soldiers! Don’t fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it is written that the kingdom of God is within man, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you!
You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

 

Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill that promise. They never will!

 

Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!”

A Love Letter To The Non-Believer

Dear You,
I know what you’re thinking. I know you already have your guard up, your metaphorical blanket wrapped tight around your shoulders, your eyes a little squinted at the screen. I know you’re wondering who the hell I think I am writing to you—as if I know your life or what you’re going through, as if could even begin to understand the depths of your trials, or the aches in your heart.

I don’t. I’ll fully admit that.

But see, I’m not writing to you from a place of perfection. I’m not writing to you from a high horse, from a chair of confidence, from this all-knowing stance, or from any ground other than the one you’re standing on.

I’m not writing to you because I think I know who you are or where you’ve been, or because I think I could ‘fix you’ or that you’re even in need of fixing.

I’m writing to you in my brokenness, in my failure, in my fear and insecurity and sin and mistakes. I’m writing to you because I am you, in so many ways. I’m writing to you because I want you to know you’re not alone. You’re heard. You’re noticed. You’re loved.

See, there’s a big misconception about my faith—that we’re people who think we’re better, that we’re trying to ‘save’ people that need saving, as if you aren’t capable of helping yourselves. But that’s not what Christianity is about. It’s not about telling people that they’re damned and sinful. It’s not about trying to act like we’re better, just because we believe in the unseen.

I’m writing to you, not because I think you need help, or because I think I’m in a much better place, or because it’s some moral duty of mine—I’m writing to you because I care. I’m writing to you because I used to be you. The person who was fine on their own, or broken and alone, or just swimming through life, attempting to find my own direction.

And I want you to know you don’t have to be lost.

I want you to know that life is all ups and downs. Sometimes you’ll feel incredible. Sometimes you’ll wake up and know that you do this on your own. And sometimes you’ll be totally able to.

But then other mornings you’ll wakeup and stub your toe on the cabinet. You’ll be out of milk for the cereal you just poured. You’ll be late to work and have your new car rear-ended at the stoplight. You’ll strain your back lifting groceries from the trunk. Your significant other will break up with you. The list goes on—you know what I mean, don’t you?

Sometimes life just gets out of our control. One minute we’re fine, the next we’re flat on our faces on the concrete, wondering what the heck we slipped on. And that’s where faith comes in.

Faith is trusting in the unseen and knowing that there is a God, a God who loves you all the time. Not just when you’re ‘perfect’ or ‘good.’ But not just when you’re broken either.

Faith is knowing that this God gave His son, His everything for you. For me. For us. So that we don’t have to face this craziness alone. So that when we’re up, we can celebrate. So that when we’re down, we can hold onto Him to guide us through.

See, this is why I’m writing to you—because I want you to know that love, to feel that love soak into your pores, to understand that no matter what happens or where you wander or how many times you fall short, you are forgiven and loved.

I want you to know that even though you don’t believe in Him, God is here. He’s waiting for you, and He’s guiding your life. He’s sending you miracles and signs. He’s blessing you. He’s calling you to Him when nothing else in life is going according to your plan.

I hope you listen.

And I hope you understand that I’m writing this because I care, not because I want to shove my beliefs down your throat, not because I have biased intentions, not because I think you and your way of living is ‘wrong.’

But because I know my God is a good God, a wonderful God, an incredible God—and I want you to know Him.

So please, know that you are loved. Know that you are strong. Know that you are beautiful and wonderful and complex and made by a God who will never leave or forsake you, no matter how much you push Him away.

Know that you don’t have to face this world alone.

Know that someone is fighting for you.

Know that my God cares, and I care.

Know that it’s okay to be skeptical, it’s okay to be scared, it’s okay to wonder and ask questions and be angry. But know that the anger you feel in your chest can be released. Know that the pain pulled into a tight knot around your heart can be untied. Know that the bitterness can be let go of.

Know you can begin again in His love.

So I hope you let your guard down, just a little. I hope you read these words, and then re-read them, just to know His heart a bit more.

I hope you know my door is open to talk, as is any Christian’s. And I hope that if and when you’re ready, you’ll reach out—to us, to Him—and know that you’ll be welcomed with open arms.

All my love,

Cliff Ochomo . 

​What you don’t know about the Doctor’s Strike

Truth is, negotiations over compensation arrangements always involve legitimate self-interest. The seller of services (in this case a doctor) attempts to obtain as much compensation as possible, while the buyer (Government) attempts to obtain the service at the lowest possible cost.
That is why there needs to be an updated nation’s estimated fair market value for every profession at any point in time. But before we get to that, here’s a major problem we have as Kenyans:
Simple Math
In the new demands, the proposed minimum basic salary is Ksh.107,730 up from the current Ksh.35,910. That’s a 200% INCREMENT not 300%. The 300% reflects the proposed pay as a percentage of the current pay NOT THE INCREMENT! Including allowances, the proposed minimum gross pay is Ksh.325,730 over the current Ksh.127,910. That’s a 154.65% INCREMENT and NOT 300% INCREMENT with 254.65% being the proposed gross pay as a percentage of the current gross pay.
Since we’ve cleared the air on the math, basing our arguments around the 154.65% Total Pay increment is utterly misleading. The argument should instead be centered on whether the basic salary the physicians are asking for reflects their fair market value. We need to take note of the fact that the 154.65% basically indicates the deviation of the current pay from what the physicians perceive to be the current fair market value of the profession.
So do the pay demands reflect the fair market value of a Physician in Kenya? This should be the basis of the discussion.
The Fair market value in this case is determined by several factors but I’d like to bring one obvious one into the spotlight: The Patient Demand. According to a recent article on The Star on a recent study by KMPDU, the survey revealed that Kenya has 3,956 doctors in the public sector but the number drops by the month as more doctors resign, having already lost over 2,000 of them as a result of poor working conditions. 3,956 doctors in public sector means Kenya is a nation with an estimated doctor: patient ratio of 1:17,000 against WHO recommended ratio of 1:1,000.
A ratio of 1:17000 mathematically means that each physician does the work of relatively 17 physicians ceteris paribus. That’s a mathematical projection of the current patient overload on an average physician in Kenya. Cuba, on the other hand, with 70,000 trained physicians, currently leads the world with the lowest doctor to patient ratio of 1:155 as per 2012; it’s probably at 1:140 or less by now. Clearly the lowest patient overload in the world~ Just in case you were about to bring Cuba Physician pay into the picture.
India on the other end has doctor to patient ratio of 1:1,681 as per 2016. South Africa: 1: 1,298 against a minimum gross pay of about Ksh. 370,000 per month. Do not forget that the average Consumer Price Index of South Africa over the past 3 years has been around 120.5 while Kenya’s at around 161.
So what does this data show us? Kenyan Physicians are overworked. And more importantly, the market value for a physician in Kenya is approximately over 10 Times higher than a physician in South Africa or USA for instance. Sad story.
Ok…enough with the pay and the suffering of these poor doctors.
Money is a sensitive issue. Definitely why the other more important demands in the CBA are easily going unnoticed: Review of physician working conditions, job structures and criteria for promotions and training, addressing under-staffing of medical professionals in public hospitals, availing of appropriate Medical Equipment, Medical Research facilitation among others.
The truth is, the realities of public hospitals in Kenya are horrible. With the implementation of this agreement as it is, we can project improved services in public hospitals especially for the average Kenyan. We don’t need any more of us struggling with finances to get folks to India or South Africa.
A study of the confederation of Indian Industry in 2005 put the annual number of Medical Tourists at 151,000 and projected the figure to rise by 15% a year. Current estimates put the numbers at around 500,000. About 60% of Kenyans who travel for medical care go to India, with South Africa coming at a distant second with slightly above 15%.
Studying these two countries, their major Health Industry Strengths are: Better doctor to patient ratio, Better working conditions, Better medical equipment and Medical Research facilitation. These, among others, generally translate to better services in public hospitals.
The same is possible for Kenya with this agreement’s implementation. Besides access to quality Health Services for an average Kenyan, Kenya can become a hub of medical tourism in the East Africa Region. According to Pathway CEO in a recent article on Nation, every month we get up to 2,000 patients coming to Kenya Hospitals from the greater East Africa region. We can triple this numbers every year.
But our government simply wants to trade all that with a 40% pay rise just to silence the doctor’s strike.
This is a government that allocates only Ksh. 60.4 Billion to Health, 2.43% of the 2016/2017 budget. The same government has lost over Ksh. 600 Billion to CORRUPTION, 24.2% of the 2016/2017 budget. It’s a shame.

Think about it. And don’t stop.

Be Something – An Instrument, A Means, An Advocate, An Inspiration!

A kid no more but still a kid in heart with big dreams and aspirations.

Once a selfish human but as life challenges him and shows him  that compassion and love are all that matters,he then aspires to be of great use for the betterment of the world. But right now,he is still lost; does not know how and where to begin. How will he turn into reality the dreams he has for the children and the poor; the oppressed and the weak?

At 21, his desire of achieving  his goals becomes stronger.He may still have not done anything, taken any action, yet he believes that encouraging everyone is still something to begin with.

So,he encourages everyone to dream bigger than living in a mansion someday, having fancy stuff, getting all those material things.He encourages everyone to dream not only for oneself but also for others (especially for the children, the poor, the weak, the oppressed).

He encourages everyone to live a life of purpose; a purpose that will serve equality, justice, and peace.

Let’s be something; an instrument in living the words of God.

Let’s be something; a means in helping the future generations not to live in a world with war and chaos.

Let’s be something; an advocate that serves a good purpose.

Let’s be something; an inspiration to others. For them to start dreaming living in a world where there is nothing but love, happiness, and peace.

Be something – an instrument, a means, an advocate, an inspiration.

Do something in living those dreams.

For those who do not have their ways yet, he is too. Nonetheless, it does not stop  because he has something that move him; PRAYER.

Pray for world peace. Pray for a world where children are not dying but laughing and playing. Pray for the hungry and the poor. Pray. Pray that God grants you the will; that He makes you His instrument in changing the world for the better, always.

Then when we have the means in serving our purpose, let’s start the change we want to see.

Be something. Do something

DOUBTS!!

There is a reason why we do not always have the things we desire, or able to implement our ideas like we see them in our minds. This reason is doubt. Doubt is destructive especially self doubt. Too often you find someone who plans to do something, but at the same time he/she is doubting if it will work.

God’s word says, if we don’t doubt in our hearts but believe instead, what we say or do will come to pass. But this is so difficult for us most times especially when you pay attention or consider the things happening around you; your lack of money, poor economy, poor health condition, lack of education, lack of support etc, you just find yourself doubting your success.

Folks no matter how tough it is, if you really want to achieve success, you must try not to doubt yourself. Stop thinking about things that will go wrong, and instead focus on the things that will go right. Most of us are always imagining the “what if” scenarios; what if I am rejected? What if people don’t buy my product? What if the money never comes? What if my heart gets broken? What if he/she cheats on me? What if I flunk the test? What if this or that?

Jesus says we can have whatever we say if we don’t doubt. So what are you saying with your mouth? Do you go about saying negative things? Sure enough you will get more of them in your life. I can’t tell just how many times I have had this principle reflected in my life due to my doubts. The times when I desire one thing, and I am expressing all my fears and doubts of getting it, and every time this happen I never get my desires.

I want you to take a moment and reflect on this statement by the late Dr. Wayne Dyer; “The Wright brothers didn’t contemplate the staying on the ground of things. Alexander Graham Bell didn’t contemplate the non-communication of things. Thomas Edison didn’t contemplate the darkness of things. In order to float an idea into your reality, you must be willing to do a somersault into the unconceivable and land on your feet, contemplating what you want instead of what you don’t have.”

So you’ve heard from the late Sage. Don’t contemplate the things that won’t work or all the things that will go wrong, instead focus on all the good and positive things that will happen when your ideas/dreams/desires become a reality. Always contemplate on what you want and not what you don’t want to happen. What do you want to see come alive? What do you want to have? Well it’s time to contemplate it coming alive then!

Live your greatest life!