I Still Care About You Deeply, This Is Why I Ask You Not To Close The Book

“You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)

We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen

You and me got a whole lot of history (oh)

So don’t let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever” – One Direction

You and I have an extensive history. We had great times. Me being the hopeless romantic I am, I am still the one who adores you. I go through my days thinking about you. I go through goals that I accomplish and I wish you could be there. I go through sleepless nights and thinking to myself, “What if she comes back? I know it won’t be tomorrow or next month, but eventually, what if She does?”
Well, what if you do? I would definitely be shocked, but even more grateful.  I would embrace you with open arms and an open heart. Right now, you turned the page – away from us. But please remember this page. You and I have memories, smiles, laughter, plans, goals and aspirations that YOU AND I made together. You and I – our stories – were popular with my friends.

You know I talked about you. How could I not? When you are so important to me, I could go on and on about you. You made me smile, laugh, you made me thrive. You were my reason to grow. I grew into the confident young guy.

Friends told me, “Oh, she is not worth it. Do not worry about it. she is missing out.” I disagree with PART of that.

You ARE worth it.

I worry about it. I worry day in and day out. You stood by me through hard times. But now, no one gets me like you do; no one compares to you. So yes, I worry.

I do agree, however, that YOU ARE missing out.

I cared about you. I loved you. I supported you. I was there for you through anything and everything. You are missing out on how much I care. I highly doubt you will find someone who cares for you more than I do.

I have plans of my own that will go with me to my grave. Will you know these plans? When the time is right, then yes, you will. You are you. You will always know what is up with me and my life. I cannot leave you behind, like you left me.
YES, I JUST SAID THAT. You left me. You gave up. And as I type this, I am crying tears flowing back . Saying that out loud is absolutely heartbreaking. Admitting to myself and coming to terms with the fact that you gave up . . . it is like a thousand needles piercing my heart.

See . . . I cannot give up on you. I refuse to give up. You know why?

Out of all my friends, ONE supports you and I. And it is he, who gives me that reminder to follow my heart. My heart says to hold onto our memories because they will one day flourish once again. My friend roots for you.He thinks we would go perfect together. He was like, “Don’t give up. I can see you two together. I support you two.” HE SUPPORTS US. HE ROOTS FOR US. I swear he got the chills when I told him about “us”.
I CARE ABOUT YOU. Always have, always will. I believe in you and I. That is why I ask you to not close the book. Do not close it, simply bookmark it. You know I will always be here.
“Please don’t tell me

It’s the end of the story

Don’t close the book on me

Oh don’t you close the book on me

We’ve gone our separate ways

We’ll meet up on another page

Don’t close the book on me

Oh don’t you close the book on me

You bookmark this page

In time you will see

If you have no to turn

You can turn back to me

You can turn back to me

Turn back to me” – Honor Society
You and I were C-Squared. THAT is what I hold onto. So go live your life, please do. I will live mine. But NO ONE can ever take YOUR place. So, when I am still single, if and when you turn back to our page, then do not be surprised. I will live my life. I will go after my dreams, my goals, and my ambitions. And if and when you come back, then I will happily welcome you with open arms, an open heart . . . and open doors to our empire. 

WHEN YOU TRULY LIKE SOMEONE

When you truly like someone, they might not know you do. At least not vocally. Not so soon yet. Because you’re not going to throw your words around like it doesn’t mean a thing. It does mean a lot to you and that’s why you want it to mean everything when you can say it to that someone face to face, knowing you’re capable of taking responsibility for your own words and you’re in a place to deliver the promises those words entail. In the meantime, you will make sure your feelings for them, without asking for anything in return, will only add positivity to their life like the positivity they’ve added to yours.

When you truly want someone, it’s not something you can just easily switch on and off. Of course you can lie to yourself however you want but every time you meet their eyes, this rush of joy spreading all over your body, making you feel alive and your plain world turn into full color, doesn’t. It’s clear that you have failed miserably. And you don’t even want to try and deny it any more. Because without that person and without this unanticipated power they have over your heart for no particular reason, you would never ever realize what truly liking someone is not. As you recall all the times you thought you were feeling, it turns out that you were really just lonely, horny, seeking troubles, involving yourself with all the people you had no genuine interest in.

When you truly want someone, at times you can and will be selfish. You will want them all for yourself and you will be envious of anyone that has ever had a piece of them. You might even seem aloof and act carelessly, not showing a single sign that your body is electrified by their slightest touch but it doesn’t mean it’s not true. You do that because it can get too much and if you must be honest, you’re scared. You’re scared of your own feelings, of what if it knows no limit and of losing them one day and ruining the little something right now between you two. But because you truly like that person, you will not let fear hold you back. You will not stop being there for them when they need you the most because sincerity is what your heart is about.

And so, when you truly like someone, you’re serious about it. Not the kind of half-arsed waiting for universe signs to decide what you’re going to do. Or telling them for whatever reason you’re unable to be with them right now. No. You will be committed to your feelings. You will do your best. You will try all what’s in your power to make them happy even if it means not having your feelings reciprocated. Although it’s true that such desire to have your feelings reciprocated is inevitable, your liking them doesn’t begin or end there. When you truly like someone, you like them for the person they are. You like them for the rawness and realness when they’re with you. You’re grateful for their ever being born into this world and crossing your path, for being a spark in your dark days and teaching you so much about life and love.

Truly liking someone might mean different things to different people but you’re sure they will agree with you that it’s a damn good teacher. It teaches you to be patient, tolerant, and go beyond yourself. It teaches you that if you want to like someone and care for them, you need to like yourself and care for yourself first. More importantly, you need to trust that they are capable of liking and caring for themselves too and let they do so in their own time. You also need to believe that they deserve happiness and the personal choices they make. That’s how you will gain the strength to keep on going, to find your own happiness, to have a place for them in your heart without bitterness or pain no matter what answer they will have for you.

You know you truly like someone when that person, and only that person, is the first word and also this last one…

Being Single Vs. Being Married

No matter what situation you’re in, you may find yourself wondering is the grass greener on the other side? There’s one simple answer when contemplating about being single versus being married, but let’s take a look at why people find themselves asking this question.

The single life can be very sexy and wild. Different dates with various people every weekend, nights out with friends, and dancing at bars are what make singles enjoy the life they live. The freedom, independence, and ability to explore opportunities that life brings are the best perks. It is these perks that lure some married people into believing they are missing out. They see the one night stands, the beautiful women and men, and think about the thought of not having to be responsible for the family at home. With those thoughts, joy kicks in. But those same perks that entice married people are the ones that get old for the singles, which leads into the marriage life.

The marriage life offers love and commitment. Spending everyday with your true love, planning family trips, and feeling trust and security are what marriages are about and what singles yearn for. Having the consistency and knowing you don’t have to search for love anymore is pure bliss. This becomes boredom for some married couples, but it is living the good life for singles.

It is because of those perks mentioned above for singles and married that people wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. No one thinks about the singles who have heartbreaks, have unwanted pregnancies, and are lonely. If couples saw that side, they would be happy being married. On the other side, if singles saw the married men or women who had been cheated on, experienced divorce, or was married and still felt alone, they would enjoy being single. So here is the answer.

The answer is things are not greener on the other side. Being single and being married offer the good and bad. You have to make the best out of which side you are on. If you are single, live it up but be safe. If you are married, enjoy your spouse for what he/she is worth and do things so the relationship won’t become dull. You are in charge of how spontaneous, fun, and lively your life is. Now it’s time to do something about it.

Perfection

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” ― Tom Robbins

It seems to me that everyone’s got a list of traits they demand from a lover. They want to be loved in a very specific way by a certain someone who has the exact set of qualities they want. But I suppose no one actually asks themselves if they deserve such a person. They don’t even ask themselves what are they going to do with such a person when they find them.

There’s no such thing as a perfect lover or perfect relationship. Nothing is perfect.

I think that there comes a moment when you see what’s underneath a person. You can see through all the masks they’ve put up along the time. And odds are that you won’t like what you see. A human. A flawed person. Contradictions, demons, phobias, and frustrations. Poison. Anger. Hate. Crushed dreams.

And once you see it all, you have a choice. You can never look the other way and pretend that you didn’t see anything. So you must decide to love that person. And that is the most difficult thing a person can ever do.

Because you’re the only one responsible for creating that love. It doesn’t even matter how the other person is, or how he or she acts. It all depends on you. How gentle you are, how kind, how forgiving. How supportive.

If you hold on, even when all you want to do is let go.

Relationships fail because people never get this part. They never shape their love. It just gets molded by all the lovers they had. Heartbreaks and disillusions change them and the way they love others. And even the way they show their love.

The feeling stays the same. It never changes. But how you act because of it does. Depending on how you are, how past relationships changed you, how you let all the other events in your life affect you.

We are never, ever our stories. We are what we chose to become after those stories happened to us.

So ask yourself. What does your love look like? Is it patient enough? Is it forgiving enough?

It might sound like a bunch of crap, but you might end up realizing that you loved someone an awful lot, but you never did what was right for them. You never tried to understand them, or show genuine support.

Because love is only a small part of what a relationship is all about. Love is the decision to make someone happy for the rest of their lives.

But there’s got to be respect, understanding, and confidence.

Most times, we do want to be understood. Far more than we want to be loved, because not being loved makes you bitter, while not being understood makes you feel lonely.

In the end, a relationship is just two people who know each other, who understand it each other, and who listen to each other.

To want anything more than that is to set yourself up for failure.

You Have No Idea

You have no idea the effect you have on me. When I see you it instantly brightens my day. It could be Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans but the second I see you it turns in to an eighty degree and sunny day at the beach. When you’re not around, or I don’t hear from you for a lengthy period of time it feels like my world turns gray. Nothing seems to be fun, nothing seems to be beautiful.

You have no idea how attracted to you I have become. As you smile I immediately warm up. Your ear piercing laugh, for some strange reason, fills my heart with sheer joy. Your mind, your sass, your attitude, and your sarcastic remarks fills my dark soul with color. My day is complete when I see you. You take my breath away. You’re beautiful, inside and out.

You have no idea how you have changed me. I think about my future a lot more now, if it includes you or not. You inspire me to do things I’ve never thought I could do. You make me a better person. Your self-motivation has rubbed off on me in a huge way. My work ethic is far superior with you around. You make me want to spend my money. I want to buy you things for no reason which I can’t afford, just to see you smile. I want to look nice, and smell great when I’m around you. You make me want to go out and do things, and I’ve never been this way before. I thank you for all of this, regardless of where things go from here on out.

You have no idea that you turned me in to an extreme softie. A hopeless romantic. When I look into your big  eyes I get the butterflies, and often find it hard to continue the conversation. I re-read your texts, just to make me smile. Whenever I go on social media I check to see if you posted anything new, because it’s usually silly, or witty and it makes me giggle like a child. I want to hug and kiss you whenever the opportunity arises. I want to drive around with you for hours and just talk, about anything. You make me want to settle down a bit, and I’ve never felt this way before.

You have no idea. You have no idea how I actually feel the way I feel. It kills me inside. I know you don’t want anything right now and frankly neither do I, but I don’t want to miss my chance and turn you into another one of my regrets. You’re one of a kind. Do I tell you how I feel and risk losing the only bright spot I’ve had in the past few months? Or do I keep it in and slowly let it eat at my soul, just to keep you around?

Do you have an idea? Because I have no idea