I FEEL nothing. I think nothing. I get straight into my journey , not knowing exactly where I should go. No one is waiting for me at the end of the journey. Melancholy has become apathy. I need to drag myself onward
I need to distract myself, to forget everything from before and concentrate on something different.
Because God’s Love for us is also impossible. It’s never requited at the time, and yet He continues to love us. He loved us so much that He sent His only son to explain how Love is the force that moves the sun and all the stars. In one of his letters to the Corinthians (which we were made to learn by heart at school), Paul says:
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
And we all know why. We often hear what seem to be great ideas to transform the world, but they are words spoken without feeling, empty of Love. However logical and intelligent they might be, they do not touch us.
Paul compares Love with Prophecy, with knowledge of the Mysteries, and with Faith and Charity.
Why is Love more important than Faith?
Because Faith is merely the road that leads us to the Greater Love.
Why is Love more important than Charity?
Because Charity is only one of the manifestations of Love. And the whole is always more important than the part. And Charity is also only one of the many roads that Love uses to bring man closer to his fellow man.
And we all know that there is a lot of Charity out there without Love. Every week, a “charity ball” is held. People pay a fortune to buy a table, take part, and have fun in their jewels and their expensive clothes. We leave thinking that the world is a better place because of the amount of money collected for the homeless, the refugees , or the starving . We stop feeling guilty about the cruel display of poverty, but we never ask ourselves where that money is going.
Those without the right contacts to go to a charity ball or those who can’t afford such extravagance will pass by a beggar and give him a coin. Fine. What could be easier than tossing a coin at a beggar in the street? It’s usually easier than not doing so.
What a sense of relief, and for just one coin! It’s cheap and solves the beggar’s problem.
However, if we really loved him, we would do a lot more for him.
Or we would do nothing. We wouldn’t give him that coin and—who knows?—our sense of guilt at such poverty might awaken real Love in us.
Paul then goes on to compare Love with sacrifice and martyrdom.
I understand his words better today. Even if I were the most successful man in the world, even if I were more admired and more desired than celebrities, it would be worth nothing if I had no Love in my heart. Nothing.
Whenever you ask artists or politicians, social workers or doctors, students or civil servants, I always ask: “What is your objective, your goal?” Some say: to start a family. Others say: to get on in my career. But when I probe deeper and ask again, the automatic response is: to make the world a better place.
I feel like going to the Nairobi streets with a manifesto printed in letters of gold and handing it to every passing person and car. On it will be written:
I ask all those who hope to one day work for the good of humanity: never forget that even if you deliver up your body to be burned, you gain nothing if you have not Love. Nothing!
There is nothing more important we can give than the Love reflected in our own lives. That is the one universal language that allows us to speak Chinese or the dialects of India.
The message of Love is in the way I live my life, and not in my words or my deeds.
In the letter to the Corinthians, Paul tells us, in three short lines, that Love is made of many elements, like light. We learn at school that if we pick up a prism and allow a ray of light to pass through, that ray will divide into seven colors, those of the rainbow.
Paul shows us the rainbow of Love just as a prism reveals to us the rainbow of light.
And what are those elements? They are virtues we hear about every day and that we can practice in every moment.
Patience: Love is patient …
Kindness:… and kind.
Generosity: Love does not envy …
Humility:… or boast; it is not arrogant …
Courtesy:… or rude.
Unselfishness: It does not insist on its own way.
Good temper: It is not irritable … or resentful.
Guilelessness: or resentful.
Sincerity: It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
All these gifts concern us, our daily lives, and today and tomorrow, not with Eternity.
The problem is that people tend to relate these traits to the Love of God, but how does God’s Love manifest itself? Through the Love of man.
I love and no one can take that away from me. I love my parents, who always supports me. I think I also loved another lady, whom I met last year. And while I was walking toward her, one lovely afternoon, I dropped all my defenses and couldnt rebuild them. I become vulnerable, but I don’t regret that.
This morning, when I was drinking a cup of coffee, I looked at the gentle light outside and remembered that walk, asking myself for the last time: Am I trying to create a real problem to drive away my imaginary ones? Am I really in love or have I simply transformed all the last year’s unpleasant feelings into a fantasy?
No. God would never be so unfair as to allow me to fall in love like that if there were not some possibility for that love being requited.
But sometimes Love demands that you fight for it. And that’s just what I will do. In the pursuit of justice, I have to ward off evil without exasperation or impatience. When she is long gone and am left with myself, I will thank me for the rest of my live.
Or I will be left with the feeling that I fought as hard as I could.
I’m a new man. I am pursuing something that won’t come to me of its own free will.
I believes any false move might compromise issues.So what do I need to concentrate on? On undoing that without her realizing it.