WHEN YOU TRULY LIKE SOMEONE

When you truly like someone, they might not know you do. At least not vocally. Not so soon yet. Because you’re not going to throw your words around like it doesn’t mean a thing. It does mean a lot to you and that’s why you want it to mean everything when you can say it to that someone face to face, knowing you’re capable of taking responsibility for your own words and you’re in a place to deliver the promises those words entail. In the meantime, you will make sure your feelings for them, without asking for anything in return, will only add positivity to their life like the positivity they’ve added to yours.

When you truly want someone, it’s not something you can just easily switch on and off. Of course you can lie to yourself however you want but every time you meet their eyes, this rush of joy spreading all over your body, making you feel alive and your plain world turn into full color, doesn’t. It’s clear that you have failed miserably. And you don’t even want to try and deny it any more. Because without that person and without this unanticipated power they have over your heart for no particular reason, you would never ever realize what truly liking someone is not. As you recall all the times you thought you were feeling, it turns out that you were really just lonely, horny, seeking troubles, involving yourself with all the people you had no genuine interest in.

When you truly want someone, at times you can and will be selfish. You will want them all for yourself and you will be envious of anyone that has ever had a piece of them. You might even seem aloof and act carelessly, not showing a single sign that your body is electrified by their slightest touch but it doesn’t mean it’s not true. You do that because it can get too much and if you must be honest, you’re scared. You’re scared of your own feelings, of what if it knows no limit and of losing them one day and ruining the little something right now between you two. But because you truly like that person, you will not let fear hold you back. You will not stop being there for them when they need you the most because sincerity is what your heart is about.

And so, when you truly like someone, you’re serious about it. Not the kind of half-arsed waiting for universe signs to decide what you’re going to do. Or telling them for whatever reason you’re unable to be with them right now. No. You will be committed to your feelings. You will do your best. You will try all what’s in your power to make them happy even if it means not having your feelings reciprocated. Although it’s true that such desire to have your feelings reciprocated is inevitable, your liking them doesn’t begin or end there. When you truly like someone, you like them for the person they are. You like them for the rawness and realness when they’re with you. You’re grateful for their ever being born into this world and crossing your path, for being a spark in your dark days and teaching you so much about life and love.

Truly liking someone might mean different things to different people but you’re sure they will agree with you that it’s a damn good teacher. It teaches you to be patient, tolerant, and go beyond yourself. It teaches you that if you want to like someone and care for them, you need to like yourself and care for yourself first. More importantly, you need to trust that they are capable of liking and caring for themselves too and let they do so in their own time. You also need to believe that they deserve happiness and the personal choices they make. That’s how you will gain the strength to keep on going, to find your own happiness, to have a place for them in your heart without bitterness or pain no matter what answer they will have for you.

You know you truly like someone when that person, and only that person, is the first word and also this last one…

Save sex for later, guys.

Girls risk judgement if they indulge in casual sex. But boys don’t run that risk: they’re expected to run around. Boys just risk the outcome of their own.TrueLovWaits

Double standards 

The world is a strange place. It is perfectly alright, even encouraged, for a young lady to save herself for marriage. Sex before a committed relationship for her could lead to all sorts of judgement and name calling.

But a quick shift over to the guys… and you draw a blank. It has never been stated or expected that men should stay chaste as they await a committed relationship with a woman. A few of you have just read that statement and laughed in your heads, right? Thing is, why shouldn’t guys wait?

Who to turn to?

First we need to understand that when it comes to sex, there’s little to no guidance for young men. Everyone assumes that because you’re a guy, you know what to do. Wrong! Now couple this with the fact that because sex is such a sensitive topic, guys don’t know who to turn to. Your parents? They’re too scared to talk about it. Your relatives? They probably run and tell your parents that you’re having sex.

And your friends? Ha! They’ll just laugh that you’re not having sex in the first place, loser.

Quicksand

So without much to go on, and so much external pressure, guys start having sex. They risk exposing themselves to all manner of diseases because they don’t know how to be safe. Now factor in that if women have sex outside of a relationship, they are frowned upon from here to land’s end.

So you get into a relationship with a girl you don’t really like because of sex. One month turns into one year, one year into five. You swear that you’ll end it with her, and then boom! She’s pregnant. You marry her because you feel obliged to. You’ve let yourself slip so far into a messy situation, all because of sex, that you can’t get out.

Habits die hard

Again, consider this. You’ve been sexually active from when you were 21 (don’t laugh! Just roll with me here). When you turn 30, you’ll probably think “Hey! You know what? I want to find a nice girl and settle down.” Good for you! So you do just that, and you’re out of the game right?

Not exactly… Nine years of your life have consisted of chasing women, getting them to sleep with you, ignoring their calls and messages once you’ve slept with them, and breaking it off when they confront you about why you don’t like them back. You formed a habit. By the time you want to settle down, your mind will be so attuned to this process that even though you want to stay faithful to your wife/fiancée, force of habit will have you chasing and sleeping with other women.

Pumping the breaks

We live in a time where sex has become one of the easiest things to have. While women have struggled with it forever, I’ll wager that men are struggling even more. This is because inasmuch as we are clueless, pride keeps us from seeking help. It’s time, gents, to pump your brakes and drive slow.

This article was originally published on our sister site Love Matters.

Being Single Vs. Being Married

No matter what situation you’re in, you may find yourself wondering is the grass greener on the other side? There’s one simple answer when contemplating about being single versus being married, but let’s take a look at why people find themselves asking this question.

The single life can be very sexy and wild. Different dates with various people every weekend, nights out with friends, and dancing at bars are what make singles enjoy the life they live. The freedom, independence, and ability to explore opportunities that life brings are the best perks. It is these perks that lure some married people into believing they are missing out. They see the one night stands, the beautiful women and men, and think about the thought of not having to be responsible for the family at home. With those thoughts, joy kicks in. But those same perks that entice married people are the ones that get old for the singles, which leads into the marriage life.

The marriage life offers love and commitment. Spending everyday with your true love, planning family trips, and feeling trust and security are what marriages are about and what singles yearn for. Having the consistency and knowing you don’t have to search for love anymore is pure bliss. This becomes boredom for some married couples, but it is living the good life for singles.

It is because of those perks mentioned above for singles and married that people wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. No one thinks about the singles who have heartbreaks, have unwanted pregnancies, and are lonely. If couples saw that side, they would be happy being married. On the other side, if singles saw the married men or women who had been cheated on, experienced divorce, or was married and still felt alone, they would enjoy being single. So here is the answer.

The answer is things are not greener on the other side. Being single and being married offer the good and bad. You have to make the best out of which side you are on. If you are single, live it up but be safe. If you are married, enjoy your spouse for what he/she is worth and do things so the relationship won’t become dull. You are in charge of how spontaneous, fun, and lively your life is. Now it’s time to do something about it.

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